My Eyebrows, Myself

I realized this morning that I had reached an all new low when it came to nitpicking myself and my body.  I was looking at a pic of my face and I found myself obsessing about the shape of my eyebrows.  How I wished they were just a little less fuzzy and a little more symmetrical.  

And then I thought, of all the wonderful things, and wonderful people in my life, I sit here obsessing over something as silly an eyebrow… a little tuft of hair meant to protect our eyes from falling debris.  Yet I spend a great deal of effort trying to make them as perfect as possible.

What I should do is embrace these brows and love them unconditionally… easier said, huh?  This is awfully familiar to the other areas of body shaming I willingly participate in on a daily basis.  Legs, thighs, arms, neck, chin, feet, toes, skin, forehead, belly, boobs, butt – nothing on my body is safe from my own judgement. And I’ve played that “if only” game with all of it.  Who else knows how to play that game? 🙋🏼 If only my belly weren’t so big, I’d be happy.  If only my thighs didn’t rub together, I’d be liked by more people.  If only my eyebrows were perfectly symmetrical, my day would go better.  And on, and on, and on.

But you know what, none of that is true.  I can be happy with bushy, asymmetrical eyebrows.  Or big thighs.  Or a big belly.  You see, there’s a little man who lives in the darkest parts of my mind that tells me these lies.  I just have to learn to tell him to shut the bleep up.  

So for today, I’ve put the duct tape over his mouth and I will love my eyebrows unconditionally 😍



Self Worth: $100 to $0.01 in the blink of an eye

It amazes me how I can so easily base my worth on how other people view me.  It sounds totally ridiculous as I sit here writing this now, but it’s as much a truth in my life as the need to breathe or sleep. Ever since I was a child, pleasing other people was always important to me. Making mistakes or doing something wrong was so mentally jarring that I learned early on to avoid it at all cost. I wasn’t abused or neglected as a child, so I can’t blame this on some terrible childhood experience. My childhood, for the most part, was uneventful and somewhat happy. I say somewhat because I was a fat child, and I’d bet there are very few people who grew up as fat children that would describe their childhood as REALLY happy.
Anyway, today I had an experience that was enough of a nudge to push my self-worth over the cliff, only to land at rock bottom. The event itself was nothing really, it had to do with helping out at a birthday party. I had apparently, not listened when someone asked me to do something. That person pointed out the fact that I had been so involved with trying on new lipstick (actually, it was one of Younique’s lip stains, which I had never tried before), that I had neglected to listen to her and respond accordingly.  

A “normal” person would probably not think too much of this. Really, it’s okay to make mistakes. I made one, I apologized for it, and now it’s time to move on…. right? Wrong! What did I do? I wallowed in my own self-pity for a few hours. As if that’s the best way to handle any situation!  

In a perfect world, the opinion of someone else would not matter to me. I have often heard this saying, “What others think of you is none of your business.” But saying it, and living it are two different things. So the moral of the story is this: I just need to learn to suck it up and write it down, because making mistakes is part of life, and life is too short to worry about everyone else and their opinion of me. There’s a lot more to me than one silly mistake!

A couple of final thoughts on the day – first, the Younique Stiff Upper Lip stain was GREAT…. so beautiful and easy to apply.  Snaps to my mother-in-law who let me borrow it. It didn’t stay on as well as Lipsense would have, but it was pretty darn good and easier to apply than Lipsense.  

Second, I fell down in my yard and rolled my ankle. Just saying that I fell doesn’t really do it justice… I slipped on the grass and tripped over my pink flip flop, only to land on my foot in the most awkward position possible, completely twisting my ankle around. I thought I had broken my leg.  It hurt, and yes, I cried, but it’s not broken. It’s sprained and swollen, but overall, not too bad. And for that, I am grateful!



A Younique Experience

I recently signed up to sell makeup…  trust me, this is something I never would have expected out of myself.  I’ve never been a fan of makeup.  But something about this particular endeavor felt right.  So, I did it.  And I’ve never been so scared, or so excited in my life.  Here’s how it went.

About a year ago, someone that I went to high school with befriended me on Facebook.  A perfectly normal occurrence, happens all the time.  I was not necessary friends with her in high school, but we knew each other.  Actually, we were in the marching band together (insert the obligatory American Pie joke).  And frankly, I wouldn’t have known this gal from Eve had I run into her on the street.  But when I received her friend request, I did remember who she was and I accepted.

I started to notice that she sold makeup.  Something called Younique.  I had heard of Younique before.  In fact, I had been roped into a Facebook group for a B list acquaintance of mine who was having a Younique makeup party about a year before that.  I knew the spiel – girl signs up to sell product, girl receives a heck of a deal on said product, girl starts urging her friends to have parties, girl starts signing said friends up “under” her, and girl starts making money off of those friends’ sales, and so on.   So yes, I knew what Younique was, but I had not given it much thought during the first encounter and I certainly didn’t give it much thought when this long-lost high school acquaintance started pitching it in her timeline.

The makeup itself didn’t necessarily catch my eye.  What caught my eye, was her absolute love for and confidence in selling the makeup.  And her confidence in herself…  it blew my mind!  Trust me, this was not someone who I would have guessed I’d be buying makeup from one day.  I knew only a few things about her.  I knew that she was shy, she played the saxophone, and she was very, very nice.  So when I saw her, all made up, making live videos, and actively marketing this product with the gusto of a linebacker tackling a quarterback, I was intrigued.

Every great sales pitch takes time and effort, and this was no different.  As I mentioned, I followed this person on Facebook for a year before I actually signed up to sell makeup with her.  Although, it was about six months prior to that when I purchased my very first Younique product…  the mascara.  Oh the mascara.  It was shortly after my 35th birthday and I wanted to buy myself something fun…  something just for me.  I had seen her gushing over this mascara for six months.  So that’s what I decided to purchase.  It was certainly more expensive than any mascara I’d ever purchased.  I had always been a “pink and green $5.99 drugstore tube” kinda gal.  But this stuff professed to make my lashes look longer and thicker by using these things called 3-D Fibers.

And so it began.  I liked the mascara a lot.  I wouldn’t say I feel right in love with it, because at this juncture in my life, I was not all-in on the makeup.  But I did like it.  It didn’t flake off or leave dark smudges under my eyes like the drugstore stuff did.  And it did actually make my lashes look great.  So I went about my life with a bare face, great looking lashes, and Chapstick on my lips and didn’t think a thing more about it.

Then came the Kudos.  Younique has something called a monthly Kudos, which is essentially a packaged deal with some free product or value discount.  It changes every month and it generally revolves around a certain theme.  Enter the Believe Your Eyes Kudos, May 2017.  This was the product that really struck me hard in the gut.  I watched several days worth of posts from my not-so-shy high school acquaintance about this amazing deal.  It included something called an eye palette, the 3-D mascara (which I already had but was running low on), and an eyeliner pencil, all wrapped up in a nice little makeup bag.

It was the eye palette that got me.  One of her posts showed the five color options for the eye palette (if you don’t know, it’s an eye SHADOW palette, not a torture device).  Palette #5.  It is hard to described what I liked so much about this palette.  Mainly, I guess, I liked it because it was different.  It was Younique wink, wink 😉  I’d never seen eye shadow that was so… beautiful.  The colors were gold, silver, dark pink, rose gold, hot pink, and purple.

She referred to palette #5 as “The Scary Palette.”  But I didn’t agree with that.  I wanted it!  And once I received it in the mail (completely hassle free, by the way, ordered directly from her website and shipped right to my home, no muss, no fuss), I used it every day for a week.  I started Googling images of looks done with the palette and I started watching YouTube videos demonstrating how to properly shade and blend the palette.  So, of course, I thought it was in my best interest to start selling this Younique stuff.  If only because I loved it so much.  I felt like I wanted every woman I knew to try it out and feel as beautiful in it as I did.  And that’s how my Younique experience began.  Let’s just say, it has been quite an adventure so far.  And who knows how long it will last, but for now, I’m hooked!

One day, I’ll have to tell you about my very first online Younique party…  it went great, but the anxiety it caused just about did me in.  But that’s a story for another day 🙂